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Project Share Day 26: heights & Ziplining

14263983_10153699274226090_4963188977676953075_nI’m afraid of heights. I don’t get to close to windows in a tall buildings, I stand back from the edge on balconies, planes make me a little nervous… and maybe that’s my internal state (identity) playing it safe; Not taking risks or playing full out. And that does show up in all areas of my life.

There’s one moment that comes up that I want to share where risk was present. 2014, Thailand. The group I am traveling are going ziplining for the day. I’m hesitate and go anyway. I’m also excited.

We arrive at the top of the mountain and the weather is beautiful. I throw my stuff in a locker & get fitted for my gear. I notice how I’m usually a chatterbox, there’s silence for a long time. I’m inside my head, numb, well really I’m blank. I’m breathing. As we walk to the first line, I’m not sure what to do or how I feel. And I jump. I hold on with all of my body, everything clenches (I mean everything). The second line is just as the first.

The third line is a 1/2 of a mile long. And the silence that I was holding for so long is let out. And I mean, let out! I can’t stop screaming; well, I did for a moment to take a breathe. LOL Halfway through, I start to turn and head backwards. Now, I did experience vertigo in 2004, and still get nauseous from time to time. And I dislike facing backwards when in motion (in a car, or train). So, I freak out and try to turn myself around. It’s not working.

And in that moment, high above the trees, I realize the lesson presenting to me. Sometimes I have to go backwards to see where I’m going. Life might take me down the path I’m not used to and the view is beautiful, clear, and something that I need to see. It’s like driving down the street twice (once in each direction) and seeing something I’ve never seen before. And in that moment, I realize life is short and I need to have fun. Take risks.

For the rest of the 22 zip course, I am free. I’m not holding on, my hands are up in the air, and I’m enjoying the ride. My screams are loud and energetic and not filled with fear. It’s inevitable that we’re going to grow old and die, and it’s probable to enjoy life as a gift.

I had amazing adventures in Thailand. I rode on a elephant, and put my feet in crazy water and had fish eat the skin off my feet, had amazing Thai food, and went to cooking school. I enjoyed myself.

Risks = ________ for you?

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